Broken
by Nathan-Daystorm
Summary: Squall says something hurtful in a fight with Rinoa, and regrets it for the rest of the day. By the night, he's sure things are ruined forever, but will an encounter in the Training Center change that?


**Broken**

AN: Ok, another songfic from me, this time FF8 in nature, instead of FF7. It's very much a Squall/Rinoa piece, as they're the only two characters involved. If you're not into Squall/Rinoa, you can still read it if you want, but I don't want flames about the couple, understand?

Summary: Soon after the Ultimecia incident, Squall is wandering the halls of Garden. He winds up alone in the secret place, thinking too much (as usual, lol) but Rinoa comes to comfort him and winds up getting a startling confession in a VERY startling form.

Song: As the title indicates, the song is _Broken_, by Seether, with some vocals by Amy Lee.

* * *

The dim halls of Balamb Garden didn't get much traffic at night, largely because of the curfew. Of course, what was odd about this night was that there was no one walking the halls _at all_. Normally there would be at least one couple sneaking off to the secret place in the training center, either to get some cuddle time or just snuggle up for a late night snack that they swiped from the cafeteria. Everyone knew about these activities and politely ignored them, so why it was still called "the secret place," the only wanderer this night wasn't sure. Probably because calling it anything else would take a bit of the thrill out of it.

Squall Leonhart pondered the strange lack of activity tonight, even as he walked silently down the hall. Normally, he didn't care enough to make his boot-clad feet tread silently, but for some reason, tonight, he didn't even want to disturb a mouse. Being the well-trained SeeD he was, he achieved that goal without too much effort, leaving him free to ponder over things, as was his wont.

Squall, unfortunately, was notorious for two things: Dwelling on the negative, and over thinking those very same negatives. He hated that he was notorious for those things, but he was, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to change that about himself. Only one person could…and he may very well have ruined that for all time. He and Rinoa had fought earlier, not physically – Squall would never strike a woman unless absolutely necessary for survival – but perhaps, the way he was feeling now, it would have been better if he'd just let her bruise his body as much as she wanted. The fight had been mostly his fault, he admitted now, but even now, hours later, he still felt a bit of stubbornness creep up on him. Knowing that it's what got him into this mess in the first place; he squashed it back down – hard – and continued his depressed plod along the main hallway of Garden, having just completed his fifth circle around the elevator column.

Rinoa had come to him about Seifer earlier in the day, over dinner. She had wanted Squall to let Seifer back into the Garden, and Squall had been vehemently against it. He had good points, admittedly – doing so, when Seifer had yet to apologize for his crimes, endangered Garden, not to mention that he was still the same arrogant asshole that he'd always been – but Rinoa had staunchly defended her ex-boyfriend. At first the discussion had been civil enough, but eventually, Rinoa lost her temper, which eventually goaded Squall's own temper into action. Even then, when they'd been yelling back and forth at each other, things were still repairable. It wasn't until Squall stepped across the line that things had plummeted down a tunnel that, even now, Squall didn't think it could come back from.

He'd accused her of defending him so aggressively because she still loved him. Squall had regretted the words instantly, but it was too late. Rinoa had burst into tears, her voice growing louder than Squall had ever heard it, as she shouted that she couldn't believe Squall would say something so hurtful, and that there was no way she was still in love with Seifer, and that she was only trying to help the two of them ease the pain that was still between them, and that Squall was an absolute bastard for even thinking that she had some hidden agenda. More names followed, from calling Squall "cold" to "barely human." Squall had been completely silent for all of it, knowing he deserved every word of her tirade. He had been just about to apologize and admit that he'd stepped over the line when her voice lowered, and bitterly, she'd finished her tirade by saying that maybe it would be better to be in love with Seifer. He may be arrogant, she'd said, but at least he didn't try to hurt her. Then, without waiting for Squall to say or do anything, she'd stormed from the room, and Squall hadn't been able to find her since.

He'd tried the rest of the day to find her. Apparently, she'd told the others about it, and told them not to tell Squall where she was, as the others were particularly distant as well. Zell flat-out avoided him, while Selphie merely sniffed and walked the other way. Quistis had given him a cold glare, and Irvine had gone so far as to call him an idiot before shoving past him. None of them had given him a chance to explain that he knew he'd been stupid, or that he was sorry, or that he felt horrible for saying those things. They'd just left him high-and-dry. Not that he blamed them. He blamed himself, in fact, as the entire thing was his fault. If he'd just given in, given Rinoa what she wanted…with a sigh, he realized that she probably would've accused him of just humoring her.

'Maybe I am an idiot' Squall thought bitterly, gazing down at the floor as he walked, his hands stuffed into his pocket, jacket pulled close to fight the cold. They were in Trabia at the moment, helping with the reconstruction of Trabia Garden. Selphie had insisted, and as SeeD could still be dispatched thanks to smaller versions of the Ragnarok built for them by Esthar, Squall hadn't had a problem with this. The drawback – as there's a drawback to everything, in Squall's mind – was the bitter cold, especially at night. The heater had broken on the third night of construction, leaving the inhabitants of Balamb Garden cold in the daytime, and freezing at night. Squall wasn't sure how Selphie had gotten by with so much exposed skin, but he himself couldn't stand it.

Still, it was better walking around out here than going back to his room, where the walls would press in upon him and the weight of his failure would increase rapidly. It would be like an anvil pressing down on his chest, with one more piled on top every second. So here he was, wandering the freezing hallways, probably catching pneumonia or hurtling towards it with every second he was out here. With a heavy sigh, he turned and headed into the Training Center, hoping that the lush vegetation and private heaters placed there would still work.

Thankfully, they did, though Squall's lungs weren't ready for such a sudden change and he erupted into a coughing fit. It was quieted quickly, as this wasn't the first time something similar had happened, and Squall continued on his walk, letting his hands droop from his pockets and his jacket hang loose about his torso. His eyes showed clearly that his mind was anywhere but where he was, even though he knew it was dangerous to do so in the Training Center. It could wind up with a T-Rexaur surprising him, which would instantly turn him into Commander Special on the dinner menu. This time, though…maybe part of him didn't care.

Luckily for him, his aimless wanderings went on undisturbed. He sighed heavily as he completed his second lap around the Training Center, and thought about going back out into the cold of the main hallways. Instead, though, he kept going, and soon found himself at the juncture that led into the "secret place." He'd figured that there were people in there when he'd passed it the first two times, but now; he realized that there was no noise coming from it. His instincts managing to force their way through his depression, he began to slowly creep towards it, afraid that he'd find some horrific sight before him when he peered into the small alcove. He placed one hand on the hilt of his gunblade, his muscles tense, ready to fight at a moments notice.

The sight that greeted him was quite mundane, thankfully. Odd, but mind-numbingly mundane, in that there simply were no people here. Where had everyone gone? Had someone snuck around behind his back and announced a holiday? And what could they have done? They're families were in Balamb, literally an ocean away. Squall's imagination – which was quite good, despite the theorizing of some of the students – flashed several images for him, all of them horrific. Squall growled at himself and stepped all the way inside the "secret place", trying to force his mind to clear.

While the images did disappear, his mind merely returned to his previous line of thought. Rinoa. He wanted to see her, to apologize, to tell her…to tell her what? He'd told her how deeply his feelings for her ran, told her he loved her, even disobeying laws to get her back to him. He sighed again, trudging dejectedly up to the rail at the edge of the "secret place" and turning, propping his elbows and mid-back against it as he leaned his weight comfortably on the rail. He gazed up at the sky, letting his hair fall around him, blowing his bangs out of his eyes. The stars were beautiful; he had to admit, especially here in Trabia. As cold as the place was, there seemed to be a purity here that none of the rest of the world could hope to have. Perhaps it was the simplicity of things, or perhaps it was just the cold, mountain air, but one couldn't deny that the aura here was far more pure than anywhere else.

His gaze on the stars and inner monologue were both so intense that he didn't notice someone else enter the "secret place" and step closer to him. He didn't notice until the person spoke softly. "Squall…." Squall's head snapped down at the sound of Rinoa's soft voice, his eyes falling on her beautiful face. Her eyes held more purity within than anywhere in the world, and her pale skin seemed almost natural in this snowy environment. Her black hair, with streaks of auburn at the front, hung about her face and framed it amazingly. The blue, sleeveless cardigan that draped from her shoulders swayed behind her as she walked, the angel wings on the back coming into view briefly, as she considered turning around. Squall held out a hand to stop her as he stood up straight, and she turned, her blue vest buttoned at the center, as always. The black shirt she wore under it clung to her, while the blue skirt and black shorts underneath didn't seem enough to keep her legs warm, as they were covered in goose bumps.

"Wait, please," Squall plead softly. Rinoa did as requested, and the two stood there for what seemed to be endless moments, both feeling awkward and neither knowing what to say.

"Was there something you wanted, Squall," Rinoa questioned, her tone sounding sad, as if she'd expected something other than the silence that she got. Squall opened his mouth once, closed it, and then sighed, slumping helplessly against the railing behind him. Rinoa sighed, turning to go, ignoring the sound of Squall straightening up again behind her. She felt his hand clamp down on her shoulder a second later, softly, and heard Squall's voice and the flat-out beg within it. "Rinoa, please…wait." Rinoa turned slowly, looking up at Squall impassively, crossing her arms across her chest and giving him a look that said "I'm waiting, but hurry up" clearly. Squall took another attempt at saying something, couldn't, and then looked mournfully down at the ground. Just as Rinoa turned to go, however, he did something shocking.

He began to sing.

**Squall:** I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh…  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away…  
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well…  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain.

Squall's voice was soft and his tone was apologetic and hopeful, as if he didn't think Rinoa would respond at all. And she didn't, not verbally, but she gazed intently at him, her eyes never leaving his. He was sincere, she could hear it in his voice and see the truth of it in his eyes, but she was still so awestruck at his haunting, melodic singing voice, like a lonely ghost lamenting it's fate, that she couldn't say a word.

**Squall: **'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome…  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away…  
You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore…

Rinoa's eyes widened in shock and sudden realization. Squall knew he'd crossed the line, that much she could tell from the apology in his tone, but his words…he thought she didn't love him anymore! He thought she hated him for what he'd said, thought she'd truly meant all those angry words she'd carelessly hurled at him earlier! Tears stung Rinoa's eyes as she stepped closer to him, her body almost pressed against his. She raised her right hand, cupping his cheek in it, running her thumb softly along his cheekbone.

**Rinoa****: **The worst is over now and we can breathe again!  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away…  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight…  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain!

Squall's eyes shot up from the floor, searching her own for the truth in those words, like he didn't believe her, or didn't feel worthy of her words, struck dumb by her voice, a voice that sounded like the chorus of every angel in the heavens in perfect harmony. Tears stung at his eyes as well, and for once he didn't fight them. Rinoa brushed them aside, even as he began to sing again.

**Squall: **'Cause I'm broken when I'm open…  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough…  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome…  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away…

Rinoa smiled softly, letting her own tears fall, washing away the hurt feelings and anger of the fight earlier in the day. She leaned in and kissed Squall briefly, pulling away a fraction of an inch, their noses still touching, as she wrapped her arms tightly about his neck. Squall, overcome with emotion, wrapped his own arms tightly around Rinoa's waist, holding her tightly as they both sang together.

**Both:** 'Cause I'm broken when I'm open!  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough!  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome!  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away!

Squall choked at the end, looking embarrassed and apologetic, but Rinoa merely laughed through her tears and kissed him again, even as Squall began to trail soft little circles along the center of her waist. This time, Squall was the one to pull away, smiling softly and resting his forehead against Rinoa's.

**Both: **'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome…  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away…  
You've gone away…  
You don't feel me here anymore….

Smiling softly to each other, Rinoa and Squall began to walk out of the "secret place", arms still tightly around each other. "Come on, Squall," Rinoa urged softly. "Let's go get some sleep." Squall smiled and nodded, and they headed off together, vowing to never go away from each other ever again.


End file.
